ONION RINGS Handcrafted FRESH EVERY DAY. As if that’s a hallmark of quality. As if deep frying your onion rings on the same day you sell them signifies excellence in dining.
Picture the AGM and the Vice President of Marketing standing before the shareholders, announcing the new differentiator.
“Onions,” he says with dramatic flair, and pauses. “Handcrafted ones.”
The hall is silent. A nervous hand slowly rises. “Still deep fried, right?”
“Oh yes,” nods the VP. “Every day.”
You know what? They’re not even that good. The onions are too thick, the coating is to crumbly. When you bit into them, they kind of feel like they’re still alive.