Trump signs Executive Order to renegotiate Rousseau’s Social Contract

trumpPresident Donald Trump signed an Executive Order today, indicating his intent to renegotiate Rousseau’s Social Contract.

“I want my social contract made in the USA,” he told a press conference this morning. “This Rousseau guy, he’s an idiot. A complete failure. You know he hasn’t even been to America. Not once. And I’ve been to France. Believe me, I’ve been to France.”

Although the social contract, which deals with specific fundamental agreements of conduct between the government and the people they govern, has been in force for centuries, Trump cited it as one of the reasons America has lost its way.

“It’s been a disaster for America. An absolute disaster.”

A negotiated social contract, Trump said, would be far more favourable for Americans.

“Everyone needs a job, right? And there are people out there without jobs. It breaks my heart. I mean it kills me. And someone said to me, Donald, what are you going to do about it? Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. This new social contract is gonna be huge. It’s gonna be the best social contract the world has ever seen and it’s going to get us all jobs, because the social contract will allow us to make it illegal to be unemployed.”

When several reporters pointed out that the social contract necessarily included basic human rights, Trump assured everyone that the new social contract would contain “the best rights, huge rights.”

Members of the Trump’s staff also cautioned that some of the existing rights would be upgraded to new rights.

“Alternative rights,” said Sean Spicer, Trump’s Press Secretary.